Psychological changes

Feelings of anger, despair, frustration and grief are all normal for people who have had a stroke. Worries about work, money, close relationships and loss of confidence can lead to anxiety and depression. The tiredness that usually follows a stroke can also make depression worse.

I was very surprised at how "down" I felt and still feel at times. People think that since you are out of the hospital and back on your feet, so to speak, that everything is the same and it's not. You look the same on the outside so everything is fine right? Sadly that is not the case in most stroke patients.

I am fortunate to have some very loving and understanding people in my life.
Those around me know that there are things, events and people that I just don't remember, or have a vague memory of. I guess that is where the anger and frustration come into play. It makes you feel like you are broken. My sons have seen the changes in me as well as some very close friends and family members. They are really helpful in helping me with every day life. I have to admit that I hide some of my feelings from those around me, it is difficult to deal with these feelings when you don't really know where they came from. I have changed and I accept these changes and embrace them. Thankfully, I did not lose my sense of humor or spirit.

I do get angry with the situation but I have never thought "why me" because if it weren't ME it would be someone else and I would not wish this on anyone. I do miss ME sometimes, the old ME but these are the cards I have been dealt and I know in my heart that I am supposed to be here to help anyone who needs me.

Can you believe I have actually had people get offended when I did not remember them, or recall certain things about them? Ha! It certainly isn't personal. I don't pick and choose who or what I forgot. I actually had to call my friend twice for directions to his house. (hey it's funny now). Thank God he didn't get offended! I am striving to be the best 'Melanie' I can be.